Calm, safe place
The word therapy comes from the Greek word therapeia, which means curing, healing or service done to the sick. Therapy comes in so many forms, talk, massage, ocean, forest, retail, equine, AromaPoint, friend time, the list goes on. I am a big fan of anything that helps a being live their best, happiest, most easeful life and I make it a point to practice as many forms as I can in my personal life. I recently started seeing a new therapist who specialises in, among other things, EMDR. If you have never heard of it, it is a tool used to treat trauma and PTSD using bilateral stimulation (sound, eye movement, or even gentle tapping) to help the brain process stuck, distressing memories. I had done this fascinating treatment twice before with two different therapists, but this time was different. We spent several sessions just building the foundation for the deeper work we would be doing later. One part of that process was to find my very own calm, safe place. This would be like a safety net for me if my nervous system got too jacked up during a session, so it was important to be familiar with it and be able to get there quick if necessary. As I sat with my eyes closed, arms crossed across my chest, softly tapping one arm and then the other, a scene began to appear in my mind. I was on a horse, and we were on an endless beach with golden sand. It was morning and the sun kissed our heads and backs as we travelled at a rhythmic walk. The ocean was a brilliant turquoise blue and the sky echoed it’s hue. Tiny waves approached like breath, exhaled upon the shore and bubbled around the horse’s feet. They tumbled back as if the sea was inhaling. The salty air with a hint of plumeria blossoms was intoxicating. I felt completely at peace, as my hips rocked in sync with the horse’s steps. I could have stayed there all day. I’ve gone there a few times now, as I have worked through some painful, challenging and incredibly liberating sessions. Perhaps I will share more about that in another post. I didn’t know what my calm, safe place would look like when we began, but I’m not surprised that there was a horse and the ocean in it. Both have brought healing to my aching heart on countless occasions.
My daughter has gone through some really challenging times in the last year or so. Being a teen is not easy and she is one of those old, kind, sensitive and stoic souls. Sometimes the world is a tough place for people like her. I sought to make any changes I could to ensure that she would feel better and thrive. One of those changes was to get her into riding lessons. We had to put her old mare down last summer. It was so hard for all of us, but especially my kiddo. I could trust that horse to take perfect care of her no matter what. The thing was, anyone could ride her, even a complete beginner. A horse like that is worth their weight in gold and doesn’t come along every day. I decided it was time for my daughter to learn how to really ride since I didn’t know if we would find another gem like Ladzy with the limited budget we have. At first there was great resistance. I couldn’t believe I was dragging this kid to do something I would have given a kidney for when I was growing up. That didn’t last too long. Going to the barn has become the highlight of the week. I have been begged to lease a horse there so she can go ride more often. When assigned to make a collage for art, it was filled with horses. She says she wishes she could ride every day. I have seen her confidence soar and there is a smile in her eyes that completely justifies me spending money that should go to bills for her to keep going. We have been on the hunt for another angel of a horse for our girl, as the two riding horses we have are too spicy for her. It’s hard to see the disappointment in her eyes when she realises that yet another horse is not a fit for her when we have gone to look. I know the right one will come along, just like that beautiful red mare did so many years ago. For now I thank God every day for the lesson horses, the kind and welcoming people at the barn and her intuitive and wonderful instructor for making a difference in my kid’s life and giving her a calm, safe place in this wacky world.
